Small Group Dynamics

How do your small groups work?

At Epoch, we recently added another one and shifted people around within the existing small groups. A needed change if you ask me. Not because the current groups didn't get along or were unevenly matched, but simply because they had been together for so long. In a small group setting, the social dynamic of the group is affected by several factors. And counter-intuitively, communication within a small group is more difficult than that within the corporate setting.

I am of the belief that small groups are where real community happens. Now I know we all have our views and preferences about how a church should run, but whether you are a mega-church or a 20 person start-up, your corporate worship service does not allow much communication to take place. One person speaks at a time. Often the goals, vision, purpose, and message of a church are given here. So from an organizational communication standpoint, yes, communication does take place. And there is even an element of fragility here, as more people will hear the message (and by message, I do not just mean sermon) within the corporate setting. But pastors have notes, worship leaders have words on a projector screen, and the announcement guy writes down bullet points on one of the guest cards.

In a small group, however, all eyes are on the person talking. There are no notes or other visual reminders about what to say; just an invitation to let other group members in on the heart and mind of the one sharing. And people are expected to talk in this setting. This may not be true public speaking, but sharing can still be a vulnerable thing. That's why its important that small group environments are safe for the flow of ideas. People must feel a sense of trust and comfort if we expect them to be real. This sense of security must be sustained from meeting to meeting. As this happens, the environment will become a solid staple, and those who were once too shy to talk become much less guarded.

It takes time for a group to get to this point. And to be sure, a group may never get to a point where people are completely open books, as some issues need to be handled between a husband and wife or a patient and counselor. But what becomes more devastating than when people refuse to share personal prayer requests is when they refuse to share their deeper spiritual concerns, questions, and celebrations with other group members. If the ultimate goal of small groups is to build deeper community within a local church through further exploring the heart of God (a byproduct of which is a more holistic understanding of our own spiritual needs), then those of us involved in a small group must not be intimidated to be open with what we want to say. And as leaders, we must speak. We must challenge, we must cultivate, and we must inspire those in our groups. Yet sometimes, those in our group have become as challenged, cultivated, and charged as they can be in their current groups. Sometimes, people can get to know each group member so well and even come to expect and predict everything each person has to offer. If this happens, a small group can even stifle the progress of its members. For this reason, I believe it is important to occasionally place different people together in small groups.

Recently, I posed the question of how to do small groups to several churches across the U.S. Willow Creek Community in Chicago, Fellowship Church (Little Rock and NWA), The Village Church in Dallas, The Journey Church in St. Louis, Sandals in Riverside, California, and the Church at Rock Creek in Little Rock. I expected to get one over-arching theme. Instead, I received several. Some believed in indefinitely keeping the groups as they were. Some believed keeping the same people together would lead to a halt in growth.

Regardless of which side these churches took on switching people around or keeping the same people in a small group, there was one consistent trend: change. For groups who switched people around every year, the type of change that took place is obvious. For those churches who kept the same people in the same group every year, the changes were either using a different curriculum every so often, having a different person lead the conversation each week, holding the small group meetings in different homes from week to week, or allowing each small group to take the summer off. However they chose to do it, the aim of these churches was to keep their small groups from becoming a ritual.

When two or more gather together in Jesus' name, His promise is that He is there with us. But also when two or more gather together, they have the opportunity to create a culture of mental and spiritual stimulation, or mental and spiritual complacency. However the leaders of churches or small groups choose to do this, it's crucial that small groups constantly adapt to make each experience a growing opportunity for those who participate. When this happens, people will want to be a part of such a group.

The Spirit has the power to accomplish this with or without us - but if we are walking with the Spirit, part of keeping in step with the Spirit means he is leading us further from where we were, and closer to the Father. And Christ has a supernatural way of challenging and deepening us, mind, heart, and soul. Our churches get to be a part of such cultivation.

In order to improve the culture of your churches' small groups, the answer is simple: find ways to make them more dynamic.