In my last post, I discussed why its so important for church leaders to interact with members, visitors, etc. I covered very little regarding staff-to-staff interaction. And while many of the same points from my first post on interaction apply, I argue that its equally important (if not more so) for there to be frequent, positive interaction between church staff members.
Previous posts have mentioned the importance of relational work environments. But I think this is a topic that needs to be emphasized and re-emphasized. Church leaders can have some of the most pleasant work environments around. They can be encouraging, there can be genuine concern for each individual's well-being, and there can be room for creativity and autonomy more so than any other work environment in our entire free-enterprise system. But that is likely not the norm, meaning there are many churches where the work environment can be as cold and robotic as the human resources sector at the IRS (ok, probably not that bad).
To explain why it is so important for church staff to interact frequently and positively, I point to social network theory. This theory focuses on relationships within any given social network. Building off of the social construction theory, it also holds to the view that reality is an off-spring of social interaction. Within social network theory, individuals within a given network all possess different roles. in regard to a church, the roles could be stereotypically assigned, where a church secretary is the mother of the group, taking care of the pastor's day-to-day tasks, and constantly taking on what needs to be done. The youth minister could be the young, fun-loving one. The music minister the artsy, socially awkward one. The pastor the gentle, encouraging, motivating leader.
As I said, this is very stereotypical. And this is likely what roles most church members would assign to these staff members. However, this could be far from the truth. According to social network theory, the relationship between people in a network is more important than the characteristics of each individual. For instance, the pastor mentioned above may be gentle, encouraging, and a motivator. But if he does not act this way toward the members of his network (i.e. his church staff), then he will not be recognized as such. Instead, he will be viewed as a hypocrite, a nuisance, and/or an unfit leader.
Interaction - the frequent and positive kind - shapes the types of relationships we have for the better. Avoidance, the opposite of interaction, becomes an infection in a church network if it continues. If a moment of passionate disagreement leaves two or more church leaders needing to get away from their counterparts for a moment, this is healthy. In fact, working closely in any situation or environment will likely lead to stressful situations where each person needs to allow themselves some space for the sake of peace. This time of avoidance, however, must not last long. It can quickly become unhealthy and lead to deeper seeded problems.
If two ministers become deeply engaged in an argument over whether to put more effort into evangelizing the north side of the city or the south side, its probably a good idea for them to take a break so as to not deviate from their point of contention: where to put their church's resources. If they never come back together to figure out what to do, each will indefinitely believe the other to be hard-headed and difficult to work with. The more time that comes between them, the more each will tear down the other in their head, replaying their last conversation together and why they were right, the other wrong, and how terribly misguided the church would be if the other were making all the decisions. Then they will pass each other in the hallway after a few days of not speaking. Neither will know what to say, so they say nothing and keep walking their separate ways. With this, what began as a disagreement in vision will morph into a complete distrust, disrespect, and dismissal of the other as a ministerial teammate altogether. The simple act of each avoiding the other will confirm to both that the other is a bad minister. And in some ways a bad person. How could anyone want to work with them? What will become of the church if others agree with such foolish ideas?
Kind of sheds new light on what Jesus said in Matthew 5:24 about being reconciled with our brother before carrying out our other responsibilities. I think he knew (because he is God) that when we avoid each other, our imaginations fill in the blanks. Not true if there is frequent interaction. As we spend time together, continue talking, persevere in working out our differences, we learn to interact positively with each other. The more positive interactions we have, the more frequent they become. It's cyclical.
Often it seems counter-intuitive that the relationships a person has determines his or her role in a given network, rather than the role determining the relationships. Nonetheless, communication theorists convincingly argue the former. The influence of social networks is a powerful thing. I believe a positive social network should be modeled by church leaders. Such a network cannot happen without frequent and positive interaction.
If you are on a church staff, spend less time at your desk. We all have busy days, but we also have an important role in a social network. Your social network is of extreme importance, as it needs to be an example for other networks. Walk around to the other offices in the building. Say hello to everyone you come across. Ask someone how their day is...and mean it. Gather up everybody who can and go out to lunch. Build a network - a community - that your congregation is able to lean on and learn from.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
The Importance of Interaction
I know many of us serve in a small church. With a church staff of 2 and a congregation of 60 (on a good day), I am able to interact pretty easily at Epoch. Few churches have numbers this small in either category. If you serve in a church of 500, 750, 1000+, it becomes impossible to have regular communication with all congregants and staff.
We recognize the power of relationships. Many of us subscribe to the idea of relational evangelism. Acts 2:42-47 certainly stresses the importance of relational interaction within a church body. Beyond this, why is interaction so important for a healthily functioning church?
Social constructivism is where people's understanding of the world is directly tied to whom they interact with and how they do so. Ultimately, whether done accurately or not, people socially construct and co-construct their perceived realities. In English, this means that people base their perception of reality on interactions with others.
If identical twins are separated at birth and are adopted by two differing sets of parents with different approaches to parenthood, their views of reality will not be the same. It won't matter that they sound, move, and look the same or that their fingerprints are a match or that they have similar tendencies in personality. If one was raised by parents who love him, provide for his physical and emotional needs, and teach him right from wrong, that child will grow up with a positive opinion of family. If the other is raised by parents who are rarely home, communicate through shouting, and pay little attention to the kid, he will probably grow up to think this is normal. Thus, the word "family" will have a negative connotation to him.
Many Christians have long known that saying hello to new faces and making outsiders feel included is the right thing to do. What is less known is why this is so important. When we stay in constant contact with people, our relationships form and deepen. Its easy to distrust or dislike someone we don't know. But if we are recognized by, spoken to, or otherwise involved in someone's life, we are much less likely to have negative feelings toward them or they towards us. Therefore, one of the best ways to make people feel good about your church is to have a relationship with them.
If you are in any kind of leadership position (including non-paid volunteer leadership) within a church, you have a responsibility to build a relationship with the congregation. For many, this is easy. For many more, however, constantly speaking to strangers or people not known well can be a stressful experience. But leaders must get over this discomfort. If, for example, someone within your church is rarely spoken to, included, or shown the vision of the leadership, your church is not very good. At least not to someone with whom people (especially leaders) rarely interact. Perception is reality, and people socially construct that reality through interaction. If you want to give someone the impression that church is a bad thing, ignore them.
The social constructionist theory has crucial implications for the church. Specifically, I believe 3 things must be recognized by church leaders:
1. People construct their reality through interaction
2. Interaction, positive or negative, greatly impacts the way people view church
3. A socially constructed reality is fluid: it can changed for better or worse
Because we care about the impact the church has on the world, we must interact with
people who walk through our doors. Through interaction, we have the opportunity to change hearts and minds. And yes, we have the power to influence reality.
Interact wisely.
We recognize the power of relationships. Many of us subscribe to the idea of relational evangelism. Acts 2:42-47 certainly stresses the importance of relational interaction within a church body. Beyond this, why is interaction so important for a healthily functioning church?
Social constructivism is where people's understanding of the world is directly tied to whom they interact with and how they do so. Ultimately, whether done accurately or not, people socially construct and co-construct their perceived realities. In English, this means that people base their perception of reality on interactions with others.
If identical twins are separated at birth and are adopted by two differing sets of parents with different approaches to parenthood, their views of reality will not be the same. It won't matter that they sound, move, and look the same or that their fingerprints are a match or that they have similar tendencies in personality. If one was raised by parents who love him, provide for his physical and emotional needs, and teach him right from wrong, that child will grow up with a positive opinion of family. If the other is raised by parents who are rarely home, communicate through shouting, and pay little attention to the kid, he will probably grow up to think this is normal. Thus, the word "family" will have a negative connotation to him.
Many Christians have long known that saying hello to new faces and making outsiders feel included is the right thing to do. What is less known is why this is so important. When we stay in constant contact with people, our relationships form and deepen. Its easy to distrust or dislike someone we don't know. But if we are recognized by, spoken to, or otherwise involved in someone's life, we are much less likely to have negative feelings toward them or they towards us. Therefore, one of the best ways to make people feel good about your church is to have a relationship with them.
If you are in any kind of leadership position (including non-paid volunteer leadership) within a church, you have a responsibility to build a relationship with the congregation. For many, this is easy. For many more, however, constantly speaking to strangers or people not known well can be a stressful experience. But leaders must get over this discomfort. If, for example, someone within your church is rarely spoken to, included, or shown the vision of the leadership, your church is not very good. At least not to someone with whom people (especially leaders) rarely interact. Perception is reality, and people socially construct that reality through interaction. If you want to give someone the impression that church is a bad thing, ignore them.
The social constructionist theory has crucial implications for the church. Specifically, I believe 3 things must be recognized by church leaders:
1. People construct their reality through interaction
2. Interaction, positive or negative, greatly impacts the way people view church
3. A socially constructed reality is fluid: it can changed for better or worse
Because we care about the impact the church has on the world, we must interact with
people who walk through our doors. Through interaction, we have the opportunity to change hearts and minds. And yes, we have the power to influence reality.
Interact wisely.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Get Away
What is up with all of these geese?
I’ve been in St. Louis this week, and I’ve never seen so many in all my life. I didn’t realize the Show-Me-State capitol was such a Canadian waterfowl hub. This is especially true on the campus of the University of Missouri at St. Louis, where I have been spending the majority of my time.
So why am I here? To see the Edward Jones dome and the Rams? Saw it from a taxi, but football season is over and the few remaining Ram fans are happy to see this one go. To see Busch Stadium and the Cardinals? No – baseball season has yet to begin, for which I’m sad. I have been here to learn from Greg Nelson, the Annual Giving Manager at this school. I hold the same job title at the University of Arkansas at Little Rock, and I have had a great time learning best practices from an 18-year veteran in this field.
I could have learned these practices through e-mail. Greg could have FedExed me some UMSL material, shown me last year’s gifts compared to this year’s projections, and I could have picked and chosen which parts of his campaign to bring implement at UALR. But by being here, I can focus all my attention and energy on how UMSL works. And I can do that without the everyday distractions and interruptions I would have if I were back in my office.
Getting away to learn something new or be reminded of something previously understood is a common practice. In fact, a few weeks ago I returned from a retreat with guys from my Thursday morning men’s group. We take one every year, and for the past two we’ve gone to the same remote cabin in the backwoods of Jasper, Arkansas. We spent the weekend hiking, eating meat, playing Risk, burning stuff, reading, praying, and just being together out of our normal element. It was exactly what all of us needed. For three days, there was nothing else for us to do but hang out with guys that encouraged and challenged each other. There were no interruptions from wives or fiancées, no distractions from TV shows or after-hour office work, and no worries about paying bills or fixing the drip in the kitchen faucet. All we were there to do was to get away from our world and focus on the one God had waiting for us.
I think church staffs should practice this more often. When you get away from your normal environment, it’s pretty cool how differently you can interact with people. Think how great it would be to just sit around a bonfire and have a coke with the guy who plans your worship services, or the guy who does the preaching, or your youth ministry team? How incredible would it be to see the wives of staff members intermingling together, sharing the burden of being married to a minister, yet in so doing, sharing the joy of such an opportunity? How closer could your staff be if you collectively took the time to just be together in a setting that had nothing to do with work? How much could you learn about each other? Yourself? Your strengths and weaknesses, and those of the staff you serve with? How much better prepared could your staff return from such a getaway?
This is a topic I haven’t researched, so I don’t know if any literature even exists to support my claim. But I have experienced the benefit of getting away from my normal surroundings and coming back with a better understanding of my purpose. Chances are, so have you. Whether your church staff is undergoing conflict, trying to overcome multiple obstacles, or just trying to figure out how to work together and relate to each other better, off-site retreats are well worth the time and expense.
I’ve been in St. Louis this week, and I’ve never seen so many in all my life. I didn’t realize the Show-Me-State capitol was such a Canadian waterfowl hub. This is especially true on the campus of the University of Missouri at St. Louis, where I have been spending the majority of my time.
So why am I here? To see the Edward Jones dome and the Rams? Saw it from a taxi, but football season is over and the few remaining Ram fans are happy to see this one go. To see Busch Stadium and the Cardinals? No – baseball season has yet to begin, for which I’m sad. I have been here to learn from Greg Nelson, the Annual Giving Manager at this school. I hold the same job title at the University of Arkansas at Little Rock, and I have had a great time learning best practices from an 18-year veteran in this field.
I could have learned these practices through e-mail. Greg could have FedExed me some UMSL material, shown me last year’s gifts compared to this year’s projections, and I could have picked and chosen which parts of his campaign to bring implement at UALR. But by being here, I can focus all my attention and energy on how UMSL works. And I can do that without the everyday distractions and interruptions I would have if I were back in my office.
Getting away to learn something new or be reminded of something previously understood is a common practice. In fact, a few weeks ago I returned from a retreat with guys from my Thursday morning men’s group. We take one every year, and for the past two we’ve gone to the same remote cabin in the backwoods of Jasper, Arkansas. We spent the weekend hiking, eating meat, playing Risk, burning stuff, reading, praying, and just being together out of our normal element. It was exactly what all of us needed. For three days, there was nothing else for us to do but hang out with guys that encouraged and challenged each other. There were no interruptions from wives or fiancées, no distractions from TV shows or after-hour office work, and no worries about paying bills or fixing the drip in the kitchen faucet. All we were there to do was to get away from our world and focus on the one God had waiting for us.
I think church staffs should practice this more often. When you get away from your normal environment, it’s pretty cool how differently you can interact with people. Think how great it would be to just sit around a bonfire and have a coke with the guy who plans your worship services, or the guy who does the preaching, or your youth ministry team? How incredible would it be to see the wives of staff members intermingling together, sharing the burden of being married to a minister, yet in so doing, sharing the joy of such an opportunity? How closer could your staff be if you collectively took the time to just be together in a setting that had nothing to do with work? How much could you learn about each other? Yourself? Your strengths and weaknesses, and those of the staff you serve with? How much better prepared could your staff return from such a getaway?
This is a topic I haven’t researched, so I don’t know if any literature even exists to support my claim. But I have experienced the benefit of getting away from my normal surroundings and coming back with a better understanding of my purpose. Chances are, so have you. Whether your church staff is undergoing conflict, trying to overcome multiple obstacles, or just trying to figure out how to work together and relate to each other better, off-site retreats are well worth the time and expense.
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